$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
