Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
