is this the sara with the beer cane?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
