I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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