I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
