I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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