if only i could text you this smell
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
