Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
