bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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