yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
