Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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