hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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