I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Screwed.edu
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
