That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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