none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
