yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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