summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
