You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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