I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
