Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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