Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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