And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
