Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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