I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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