the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
