absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
