So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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