i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
