I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
