She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
and you fell through a lawn chair
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
