glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
