I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
