I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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