my mouth tastes like poor choices
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
