put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
