She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
