I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
