Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
