My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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