what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
