Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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