He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
