therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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