You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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