i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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