office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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