We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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