I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
