Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
