he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
