thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
