new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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