Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
