That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just blew my weed a kiss
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
