the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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