69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
