So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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