Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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